What it means to be a Gringa

"Your skin is so pretty! Not like mine, so dark and ugly." 

"Why did you die your hair?? Your blonde Gringa hair was so pretty!" 

"Do you know a gringo to marry my daughter?" 

"This is Miss Carolina - she is from the United States.  She is here to see who are the best students so they can leave Peru and study in the United States" 

These are some of the comments I hear on a regular basis (translated, obviously)

I have never had blonde hair a day in my life - sure, I bit lighter but never blonde. And this is seemingly harmless but when it gets carried further to say I am here to help the lucky few leave their country for a better life in mine - well, that is not only untrue but it directly continues the thought that Peru has nothing to offer and will always be secondary to others - especially the United States. 

A big part of my job here is working with youth on self-esteem, a concept that seems a bit fleeting and fluffy.  But when you examine the effects of a colonized country with a seemingly European and developed center and rural, indigenous, poor communities outside, self-esteem takes on a whole new meaning and level of need.  Not to mention the need created by the ever present and ever strong machismo influence.  

I have pressed the issue a few times, asking "Why don't you want your daughter to marry a Peruvian man?  If she marries a gringo in the United States she will be far from you and her culture?"  Or asking why the promotional calendars companies give out have white babies and children on them instead of Peruvians.  Usually the answer comes with a scoff and a statement to say because Americans are better, obviously. 

I had my first moment of noticing white privilege in a court room in Charleston, SC.  An African American requested a rescheduled court date so he could make it to family court on time that day, pleading that if he were a second late they would lock him out and make decisions about his children without his consideration.  The judge nonchalantly told the man to sit back down, he will be out in time.  Numerous African Americans were treated likewise before two young white college students had their moment for alcohol related charges.  Both white students were let go with minimal to no punishment, with the exception of a good talking to by the judge about how the white girl needs to be careful because she wasn't made to go to jail and wouldn't be able to wash the stink out of her pretty hair if she did.  

Living in Peru, I found white privilege is not unique to the southern states or even the United States.  With effects of colonialism, media, and history, being white is to be privileged the world over.  And this suggests that to be brown or black or anything but white is to be less than.  This is a result of a messy world history.  We say we know all people, all races, all ethnicities are equal yet in countless countries in countless communities, we are still acting as if there is a superior race and, conversely, inferior races.  

Sometimes I get frustrated to be a white volunteer in Peru, perpetuating the belief that all Americans, or the good ones anyway, are light skinned and light eyed. I look to diverse Peace Corps members, and while they have a completely different experience, I am so proud of their opportunity to teach our host communities and host countries that Americans are all immigrants and not being light skinned shouldn't mean anything.  

Sometimes the comments and questions are out of sheer curiosity.  In rural communities, they may have never seen a person of another race.  Getting asked to see my eyes, touch my hair, or a string of questions about the eye and hair color of every member of my family happens frequently.  And these moments, while sometimes exhausting to always be the center of attention, are amazing opportunities to share another culture, another way of life with curious community members.  

My experiences in the Peace Corps have made me more proud of the diversity of Americans and our sometimes drastic sometimes painstakingly slow but ever continuous moves towards equality between all people.