Friday, February 28, 2014

Valentines Day Health Post Event!

In January and February I worked with the local health post, Puesto Salud Santa Rosa, on a project for girls age 14-20 in the community who are pregnant.  On Feb 14, Día del Amor or St. Valentina's Day, we hosted a workshop (taller) called La Dulce Espera (The Sweet Wait).  The doctors and obstetricians gave charlas (talks) on health considerations of pregnancy, especially in adolescence, and I gave charlas on the theme Amarte a ti mismo, Amar a tu bebe - Cuidar de si mismo, Cuidar a tu bebe (Care for yourself, Care for your baby Love yourself, Love your baby).  The workshop was held at a local hall in the community of Santa Rosa in Cartavio. 

The event was sponsored by the health post, the municipality, and the Peace Corps.  For the day, we collected donations from health post workers and friends.  With the donations, we were able to clean and decorate the room with Valentines decorations, provide refreshments and empanadas, and give the attendants gifts to help care for their babies in utero and postnatal.  The gifts included:
Newborn diapers
Baby clothes 
Baby shampoo, soap, and lotion 
Diaper bag
And ultra-sounds. 

Due to the cost, some of these girls would never have an ultra-sound and we were able to reward their efforts to prepare for their baby with a paid for ultra-sound. 
One of my favorite gifts were hand knitted bonnets and booties for newborns made by a community member.   We also received donations of clothes for children 1-2 years old which we have stored in the health post to give out to patients who need them.  Cakes are a big part of celebrations here so I shared the American fun of making a diaper cake to give away some of the diapers! 

In the end, 9 pregnant girls came.  The youngest was 14 and the oldest was 20.  One participant came with her 2-week-old baby and mom.  2 of the boyfriends came which was great!  Everyone was very interested in all the information and appreciative of the gifts.  10 or so workers from the health post came to help and/or participate which was awesome to have such dedication from them!

What it means to be a Gringa

"Your skin is so pretty! Not like mine, so dark and ugly." 
"Why did you die your hair?? Your blonde Gringa hair was so pretty!" 
"Do you know a gringo to marry my daughter?" 
"This is Miss Carolina - she is from the United States.  She is here to see who are the best students so they can leave Peru and study in the United States" 

These are some of the comments I hear on a regular basis (translated, obviously)
I have never had blonde hair a day in my life - sure, I bit lighter but never blonde. And this is seemingly harmless but when it gets carried further to say I am here to help the lucky few leave their country for a better life in mine - well, that is not only untrue but it directly continues the thought that Peru has nothing to offer and will always be secondary to others - especially the United States. 

A big part of my job here is working with youth on self-esteem, a concept that seems a bit fleeting and fluffy.  But when you examine the effects of a colonized country with a seemingly European and developed center and rural, indigenous, poor communities outside, self-esteem takes on a whole new meaning and level of need.  Not to mention the need created by the ever present and ever strong machismo influence.  

I have pressed the issue a few times, asking "Why don't you want your daughter to marry a Peruvian man?  If she marries a gringo in the United States she will be far from you and her culture?"  Or asking why the promotional calendars companies give out have white babies and children on them instead of Peruvians.  Usually the answer comes with a scoff and a statement to say because Americans are better, obviously. 

I had my first moment of noticing white privilege in a court room in Charleston, SC.  An African American requested a rescheduled court date so he could make it to family court on time that day, pleading that if he were a second late they would lock him out and make decisions about his children without his consideration.  The judge nonchalantly told the man to sit back down, he will be out in time.  Numerous African Americans were treated likewise before two young white college students had their moment for alcohol related charges.  Both white students were let go with minimal to no punishment, with the exception of a good talking to by the judge about how the white girl needs to be careful because she wasn't made to go to jail and wouldn't be able to wash the stink out of her pretty hair if she did.  

Living in Peru, I found white privilege is not unique to the southern states or even the United States.  With effects of colonialism, media, and history, being white is to be privileged the world over.  And this suggests that to be brown or black or anything but white is to be less than.  This is a result of a messy world history.  We say we know all people, all races, all ethnicities are equal yet in countless countries in countless communities, we are still acting as if there is a superior race and, conversely, inferior races.  

Sometimes I get frustrated to be a white volunteer in Peru, perpetuating the belief that all Americans, or the good ones anyway, are light skinned and light eyed. I look to diverse Peace Corps members, and while they have a completely different experience, I am so proud of their opportunity to teach our host communities and host countries that Americans are all immigrants and not being light skinned shouldn't mean anything.  

Sometimes the comments and questions are out of sheer curiosity.  In rural communities, they may have never seen a person of another race.  Getting asked to see my eyes, touch my hair, or a string of questions about the eye and hair color of every member of my family happens frequently.  And these moments, while sometimes exhausting to always be the center of attention, are amazing opportunities to share another culture, another way of life with curious community members.  

My experiences in the Peace Corps have made me more proud of the diversity of Americans and our sometimes drastic sometimes painstakingly slow but ever continuous moves towards equality between all people. 

Death and Grieving: A Cultural Experience

Death and grieving are part of the human experience - but how they are experienced is very much personal and dependent on cultural practices. In my almost 9 months in Peru I have witnessed a seemingly large quantity of loss and suffering. A family's two year old daughter.  My host mom's mourning of her mother's passing.  Another host mom remembering her daughter taken at just 4 years old. A friend's host family who lost a son.  A neighbor crying for the loss of 4 of her 10 children.  

While death is a part of every culture, there seems to be more of it here.  And even more terrible in how unnecessary some deaths are.  When I hear a friend's 2-year-old niece has a high fever, I do not think death could even be an option.  When my host nephew broke his leg, I did not understand the tears, prayers, and worry.  My wild child little brother has broken his arm multiple times and my parents took him to the hospital, got surgery or casts or whatever was necessary, picked up a pizza and called it an interesting day in the Langford household.  

So when host moms cry when we don't eat enough, or when we have a particularly hard time with the ever present diarrhea and don't call the doctors or take medicine, I didn't understand.  I didn't understand the worry, the panic.  In America we have colds, we get stomach bugs, and in a few short days life goes back to normal.  But now I have been to enough memorials, enough services, seen enough tears and heard enough stories from grieving relatives to understand that all too often that broken leg, that cold, that upset stomach can take a turn for the worse and end in death when first world infrastructure, medicine, and hygiene are not readily available. 

In America, as a culture, we recognize the inevitability of death and do what we can to remove ourselves from the suffering.  We go through the quick steps of visitation, funeral, and burial to put the grief away and continue on.  And of course we do.  Grief hurts. Suffering is hard. 

Contrarily, Peru drags out the process. There is a wake at the house followed by a catholic service and burial.  The family dawns black apparel and refrains from dancing or celebrating for a one year mourning period.  There is another catholic service at the grave after 6 months and again on the anniversary of the death every year, indefinitely.  The person is also remembered maybe through a service or maybe just by family members going to the cemetery on his or her birthday every year, indefinitely.  In this way, it feels the dead are never fully laid to rest - they are always present and continuously mourned.  

There is not a right or wrong way to grieve - just as there is not a right or wrong way to live. There are simply the different practices we adopt as cultures and then as individuals to best endure the suffering and best honor our loved ones.   

During my time in Peru, I have seen and experienced much death, as described above, and lost a great aunt at home.  Then just this week I read another story from a volunteer's experience of a funeral during her service in Ghana and read Mitch Albom's book For One More Day. With that, I decided to write on the different experiences of death and suffering in America and my host country of Peru.  

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Happy Peace Corps Week 2014!!

This week is Peace Corps Week 2014! To see what life is like in coastal Peru, check out my friend Ali´s video on youtube (link below) which she submitted for PCWeek2014 competition "What I Wish People Knew About My Host Country."  Amazing and sometimes wierd food, beautiful sites, dancing, dancing, dancing, parades - she really shows what Peruvian life is all about!

Ali is a youth development volunteer in Pimentel, Lambayeque.  She will finish her 27 months of service this coming July.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZSiNQ_FOzU&feature=youtu.be


Monday, February 10, 2014

The Virture of Honesty

Being American, I am part of a culture that places high value on the virture of honesty.  People, each one of us, are going to sometimes make mistakes, going to sometimes disappoint, or are not going to meet all needs and expectations - that is life.  But - in the American culture - that is all helped by being honest with one another.

Peru does not share the virture of honesty.  Instead, Peruvian culture places more importance on protecting the feelings of others.  It is more importnat to not say anything that might upset another or make someone upset with you than to be honest.  And so lying becomes the norm.  People tell you they will be somewhere knowing they cannot be.  People will tell you everything is fine and they agree with you when that could not be farther from the truth.  This leads to a few things.

First, when we are not forthcoming about our feelings, we are led to act more passive-aggressively.  There is also the assumption that everyone lies and is probably lying about any given thing.  I have heard the word "mentirosa" (liar) so frequenty - And from my American perspective, I was shocked! What a strong accusation! Until I realized it is not as harshly offensive to be called a liar in this culture as it is in my own.

As I continue to live in and learn more about another culture, I find it so interesting that our cultures can have different views and practices in how we view so many societal practices, including virtues.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Feminism According to a Non-Feminist


I am a person fueled by passion - passion to help others, passion for traveling, passion for teaching.  But I have never felt passionate about the feminist movement.  As a female with a mostly privileged upbringing, I have never directly felt inequality as a woman.  I have always been surrounded by equally powerful men and women and supported by the men in my life to take on any challenge, any job, and any opportunity equally because I am capable without any consideration of my gender.  I have looked at the feminist movement as some people who found an inequality they were passionate about and I respected their work - I just didn't share the passion. And then, as is the curse of the feminist movement, I saw many feminists to be something more of a rebel without a cause looking to continue a fight fought decades ago.    

So my experience in a man-dominated machismo culture has been nothing short of a shock.  For the first time, I feel what it means to be a minority. To be discriminated against. To feel threatened and vulnerable. To be limited for no other reason than my gender.  To be sexualized in every way when I did nothing to elicit or ask for such sexualization. And I see the effect this has on young girls, teenagers, mothers, and older women - an entire gender pushed down in a society they very much hold together.

I will probably never be completely comfortable with the word "feminist" and I assure you, you will not finding me burning any bras, but I will live my life as an activist for gender equality and join the many who are passionately working for a world where no man or woman will feel the discrimination, vulnerability, or marginalization based on nothing more than a gender.  

First Activities in Cartavio


January and February are the months of summer vacation here in Peru and here is the work I have been doing this summer in Cartavio. 

Taller: La Dulce Espera 
One of my partner organizations is the local health post, here called Puesto Salud de Santa Rosa.  There I work mainly with the obstetricians and our first collaboration is coming quickly on Feb 14.  We are having a "taller" (workshop) on Valentine's Day for the expectant mothers between the ages of 14 and 19 and their significant others.  There are currently 20 adolescent expectant mothers receiving care at the health post and probably more in the community.  The workshop will cover health considerations for pregnancy at a young age and activities to help the teen parents care for themselves and their future while being parents (ie stay in school, get a job, fight depression, etc) 

Tutoring 
Through a connection at the health post I met a mother worried about her 14-year-old daughter, Melissa.  Melissa was born premature and has a physical disability in her leg. She has undergone two surgeries and cannot walk without the aid of another person or by holding onto the wall as she goes.  Melissa has been out of school for over a year because she and her mother were scared for her to change schools when it was time for her to begin high school (here called secundaria).  And so I am working with Melissa to get her, her mom, and a local high school ready for her to start classes when school starts this March. This includes tutoring in English and Math - requested by Melissa - so she doesn't feel self-conscious about being behind in the classes, setting up physical therapy if I can find the resources for them, and some afternoons drawing as she loves art most of all.  

La Academia 
During the summer there are free university prep classes offered by the municipality (local government).  In order to get into university in Peru, you must take a high stakes entrance exam offered in the fall.  The entrance exam determines who is admitted and who is not.  The national universities offer free higher education but have very few spots and the private universities are very expensive.  As far as I know, there is no such thing as financial aid or scholarships here.  The academia in Cartavio is preparing students for the March entrance exam to the national university in Trujillo.  Approximately 5,000 students will take the test competing for one of only 500 vacancies.  I have started helping at the academia to motivate the students. As the director says, the students have the ability to do well on the test but they lack the confidence and/or drive so I have been helping with that, as well. 

The rest of my time is spent getting to know the people of Cartavio.  I have a few friends I visit - a middle-aged owner of one of the bodegas, a young Catholic missionary native to Cartavio, a 68-year-old high school science teacher.  It is easy to get bogged down in the objectives and grand project ideas of the youth development program of Peace Corps Peru but these friends help me remember 2 of the 3 overall goals of Peace Corps are about creating friendships between Americans and host country nationals. So I hope I am doing something positive for the youth in Peru, but more importantly hope I am a good friend to people who have shown me so much hospitality and gratitude.  

Finding the Lows and Keeping Swimming - Poco a Poco

Peace Corps promises to give you some of your "highest highs and lowest lows."  In the past few weeks, I have experienced some of those lowest lows.  I made a tough decision with Peace Corps guidance to take a risk and change sites.  I did not know what community I would be going to, what family I would be living with, and the list of unknowns goes on and on.  It put me back at the beginning of service in some regards and brought it's share of anxiety with it.  

On Wednesday, January 22 the regional coordinator from La Libertad come to my old site and helped me load up my things while my host family and neighbors asked how quickly I could visit and if they could lock me up so Peace Corps couldn't change me. After "dar"ing palabras and besos, I rode about 3 hours south from Ucupe, Lambayeque to Cartavio, La Libertad. 

My start in Cartavio has been challenging to say the least.  I found myself in a host family with less freedom and more struggles for control over my daily life and community organizations that were more or less unaware I would be coming.  And in Peru, a country where formality and documentation runs business, nothing can be started or even discussed until the formal introduction between bosses takes place. It is also hard timing for a youth volunteer as it is currently summer break and all the schools are closed for vacation.  

After a long week or so of crying and forgetting almost every word of Spanish I have learned, I calmed myself down and got back to the hard days of integrating into a community.  Day by day and week by week I am making work connections and getting to know my new home of Cartavio.  I already have a few small activities going (see next post) that I feel good about and am working to make where I am living more comfortable, as well.  But as my language teacher Pablo always told me, poco a poco.  And so, poco a poco, I am finding my way in Cartavio. 

And even as I settle in here, I have already been able to visit my host family and street in Ucupe for the weekend and am thankful for my growing friendships with the people of Peru.  And like the crazy teacher I can be, I am looking forward to the start of the school year in March! 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Planning for 25

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we´ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come." - Josheph Campbell

I love to plan - plan my day, week, life, year.  When I have some down time, I frequently doodle lists, timelines, goals, to-do lists, and more.  If you can dream it, I have planned it.  And these plans have taken me quite far!

As I begin a new year and reach my 25th birthday, it is only my nature to begin making lists, goals, and plans again.  But this time my lists are a little different than ever before.  My lists and plans usually revolved around grand accomplishments and events - defining success and happiness in life through these big moments and the fair share of material possessions.  Such as GETTING A MASTERS DEGREE, BUY A CAR, RUN A HALF MARATHON

As I venture into my 25th year, I found myself reflecting on two things.

1) I need to give myself some credit.  I have checked more than a few of these lofty goals off the list
Get a Masters Degree - MSW, University of South Carolina 2013
Travel the world - Semester at Sea 2009, Peace Corps Peru, and more to come
Join the Peace Corps - Youth Development Volunteer, Peru 21
Learn a 2nd Language - Hablo español, mas o menos :)
Buy a car......haha right maybe in another 25 years

If these accomplishments and just day-to-day Peace Corps life have taught me anything it is to love myself, be proud of myself, and to know I am stronger and braver than I ever thought I would be.  So toast to the past 25 years - I haven´t done too bad ;)

2) The second thing to catch my attention in my new list and plans is how they have changed, for really the first time ever.  Some of this I attribute just to growing up (a little), some to how much I have been able to accomplish and life experiences.  And then I know some of that change is attributed to my time in Peru.  It was inevitable that my thoughts on a happy, successful life change after living in a developing country in a poor community, away from my family, friends, culture, and certainly away from my comfort zone.

So I am sure I will buy a car one day and maybe I´ll run a half marathon some time (though a few more 5ks would make me just as happy now), but these things no longer hold the importance to be on my plans and lists.  Thanks to everyone who has been a part of my past 25 years!  Here´s to another year of planning, learning, and adventures!!

"You don´t always need a plan.  Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens" - Mandy Hale

A Few Random Musings

Until you have budget traveled alone in a developing country you do not understand the true meaning of discomfort, confusion, waiting, or the power of a smile.

The Changing Goals of Peace Corps Service
When thinking about the Peace Corps and preparing to leave, you feel the lofty goal of "I want to change the world."
After arriving in country, my main goal for Peace Corps service simplified to "I want to learn enough Spanish to survive"
A few months into life here, my goal once again shifted to "I do not want to shit my pants today"
Maslow and his hierarchy were right - take a person back to the basic elements of life and our definition of success, our definition of happiness quickly changes.